. . . and other unexpected results of the swine flu.

(Image courtesy of WORD)

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[LeeQuod]

Eleventh, "Lord of the Flies" is rewritten to have a happy ending.

Twelfth, Kermit the Frog is unsure whether to mourn or rejoice over no longer having a girlfriend.

[Rolley Haggard]

Thirteenth – 195 Congressional Democrats resign over restriction on pork barrel legislation

[Dan Gill]

Funny, but number seven should have been, "The Ziffels hear sniffles, and banish Arnold to the barn . . ."

[LeeQuod]

Fourteenth, the toes of babies everywhere languish, ignored, as no one goes to market, everyone stays home, but on a positive note, sales of roast beef skyrocket.

[Rolley Haggard]

Fifteenth --

In economic news, ‘Pets R Us’ stock skyrockets on news of ‘buy one get 20 free’ sale of ‘Guinea Ferrets’

John Deere announces record sales of its “Bush Ferret” lawn mowers.

Pittsburgh Steel reports critical shortage of “Ferret Iron” used in the manufacture of sheet metal.

Monolithic New York-based food distributor “Boar’s Head” files Chapter 11 after changing name of popular deli meat brand to “Ferret’s Head.”

In other news, the University of Arkansas confirms rumors that the school mascot is in fact a rare form of Razorback Ferret unique to the swamps of the White River National Wildlife Refuge. “Lots of folks don’t know that”, said school provost, R. Hoggard. “And most of them don’t know,” he added, “that the proper school cheer is, “squeak, squeak”, not “sooo-eeeee!”

And finally, the Ohio Historical Society presents evidence that Cincinnati in the 1830s was nicknamed ‘Workopolis’, not ‘Porkopolis’ as previously thought. “A simple case of redactor’s error,” said R. Hoggard, president of the Society. “What we all along thought was a ‘P’ was in fact a ‘W’”, he continued. “We knew it was either that or a ‘D’”.

(Note to all -- Sorry for all these groaners, but like they say, you can’t make a silk purse out of a ferret’s ear).

[LeeQuod]

Rolley nicely captures the kinds of problems that can result when mindless bureaucracy meets with an emotional response. For a classic (and award-winning) take on this, with Rolley-quality poetry, see here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GYXlF3sa9xs

Seeing that film in my formative years helped to make me the proponent of limited government regulation that I am today.

(I'm not going to reference the original story by Ellis Parker Butler because it contains an ethnic slur Gina and her dad - among others - would find quite offensive. It's uttered by a character who is clearly not an example to be emulated, but nonetheless I'm doing my best to not give any provocation. The original story is set in a time when ethnicity was fair game for characterization; some of this can still be seen in the video. And Gina, no - you *can't* post a simple joke at The Point without it morphing into a serious discussion of social issues. Happy Friday!)