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February 20, 2009

Hey, Allen . . .

Did you say something about "winning"?

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Allen Thornburgh

You really don't want to go down this road Gina. Seriously, I was born for this. I am no expert on spiritual gifts, but it is a pseudoscientific fact that my decidedly-non-spiritual gift is Giving People The Business.

I will give you this: you are a worthier competitor than I might have given you credit for. But I will always go just one step farther than you will.

One day, you will think "Huh? What's that noise?" And you'll look up and a blimp will be flying over Northern Virginia with "Gina D Says 'Twilight' Crushes 'Oliver Twist'!" on the side in big bright letters next to a giant photo of you.

Granted, having pulled that off will drive me into personal bankruptcy, and my family and I will be living in a gutter somewhere, but I'll actually think it was very much worth it.

Rolley Haggard


To keep the family off the street, you can borrow this for awhile. I can always catch a ride to work with one of the guys.


Rolley Haggard


That hand-held Stinger missile ensemble you ordered is coming via FedEx.

I’d have brought it myself, but I JUST loaned out my delivery vehicle.

Rolley Haggard

Step right up, folks, for the grrreatest show on earth!




Rolley Haggard

I think I’ve caught the JTMCCS bug.

Where’s Doctor Steve when you need him?

(And why did LeeQuod just hand me a squirrel?)

Gina Dalfonzo

So . . . playing both sides, and trying to make a little money off the audience into the bargain.

I must say, Rolley, I like the way you think!


I was going to suggest that since this tussle over who's got the worse social networking addiction is taking place on, *a-HEM*, a *social network* (rather than, say, in instant messaging or by pranks in the other person's cubicle), perhaps all us onlookers should join in with our own unique contributions. Rolley, who's already in the middle, could write one of his famous commemorative epic poems, this time in the style of Beowulf (while graciously keeping to himself who's who) but with contemporary allusions, sparkling wit and outrageous puns. Jason Taylor could fact-check to insure absolute historical accuracy of Rolley's work, and provide annotational commentary on the history of long-running feuds and their global impacts. DtS, viking mother and others of Swedish descent could supply translation to Old Norse. And the rest of us could stir the pot whenever it looked like the conflict was waning for a moment.

A Pointificators community project! How about it?

The audio version could be read dramatically by Max McLean, and proceeds from the download would benefit PFM.

Ooh, but what about the title! Lessee...brainstorming a bit... "Ginallen"? Sounds like "Glengarry Glen Ross"; don't want to imply it's about a buncha drunk salesmen. "Allengina"? *That* sounds like a tabloid nickname for a celebrity couple, or else maybe a heart condition. (Hmm, maybe that fits...nah.) Hey! How about "Don't Just Sit There Like a Bump on a Blog!"? Nah, young people wouldn't get it. Ah, what to do, what to do,...

Allen Thornburgh

Galaxy RPV! I like it!

Can it drop incendiary devices?

Just asking ... no reason ...

Gina Dalfonzo

As exciting as all that sounds, I would hate to see Allen bankrupt himself and his family starve to death in pursuit of this feud. As the one with no family to support, I should be the bigger person and the one to end things. (Should I land in the gutter trying to pay for missiles and incendiary devices, I would take with me only my teddy bear collection. And they don't eat much.)

Besides, if we end it now, *I* got the last word.


Rachel Coleman

I'd love to join the fray, but I am presently occupied detoxifying the virtual reading room, which is tainted with *lead.* From all those old paper books.

It's no wonder the rest of you have migrated to electronic media.

But I do have title ideas... Grendel Doesn't Twitter ... Blimps on Mead ... Blogs on Mead ... Allengina on Mead... What's Mead Got to Do With It?

Rolley Haggard

Allen asked if my blimp can drop incendiary devices. Labrialumn used to carpool with me to work.




And some great title ideas, Rachel! After some reflection, I've come up with "Point and Shoot".

As I understand it, an advantage of incendiary devices is that there's no need to be precise with one's aim.

Rolley Haggard

Another title idea --


Or is that too esoteric? I never know. Licked one too many books, I guess.


Fantastic as ever, Rolley! But you're right; maybe we're over-thinking this. After all, a title is merely a lead-in.

Since this titanic battle is described in poetic form, perhaps we should go with a simple "Versus".

For breakfast I'll have "The Velveteen Rabbit", with a side of paint chips.


This thread made an excellent diversion from the work I was supposed to be doing... much as I think the debate over social networks is an excellent diversion for Gina and Allen!

Keep up these pleasant diversions, please... it seems a Dickensian word, quite suited to the woman of the hour.

Rolley Haggard

Hmm. “Dickensian diversion.”

How to accomplish Kari’s suggestion and still stay halfway on theme….?

Without “over-thinking” things….???

I wonder…. Is it possible to come up with even worse puns than heretofore achieved?

When I find myself in times of trouble,
Sister Gina comes to me
Speaking words of wisdom,
“Led it be.”

Ok. But I’m warning you, this one is BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAD.

Here goes...

Did you hear the story about the guy David Copperfield went to help after a tornado ripped through his backyard demolishing house, trees, barn, fences and everything?

Yep. Copperfield told the poor, hapless fellow, I’d have been here sooner, but I loaned out my blimp and then Micawber Oak Down.

Rolley Haggard

......and I couldn't get over it."


Since I'm going to be out Monday, I figure I should weigh in now. Three things:

1. The creativity unleashed by the Pointifficators in this thread has been second to none. Amazing! Me like.

2. My favorite: Allen vs prEditor. I wouldn't have thought of that in a million years. Nicely done.

3. As *I* read Gina's "bigger person" comment, it seems to me that she has de facto capitulated and admitted my victory. So let me say it here: "I graciously (of course) accept your surrender, Gina, and wholeheartedly agree with you that it is the prudent thing for you to do."

(Perhaps I misread Gina's comment ... but I don't think so.)

Gina Dalfonzo

You most conveniently skipped over my last sentence, I see. :-)

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