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« Slavery and abortion: A natural comparison or not? | Main | Love Means Never Having to Say "You’re Sinning" »

February 28, 2007

For Your Convenience

Anthony Sacramone at First Things has put together a list of what Mark Shea calls "Shocking Revelations that shake Christianity to its very foundations," or SRTSCTIVF for short. In addition to Captain Nemo's discovery of Jesus', Mary Magdalene's, their son, Jude's, and their dog, Skippy's ossuaries, we can add

Jesus was a woman.

Jesus was a space alien and is buried in Japan.

Jesus survived the crucifixion and is buried in Kashmir.

Jesus was a Buddhist.

Jesus was a Muslim.

Jesus was a Mormon.

Jesus was a magician.

Jesus was a Gnostic.

Jesus was the son of Mary and a Roman solider.

Jesus never existed.

Jesus was never executed.

Jesus was married and had children.

Jesus was a social revolutionary when he was not a mere Mediterranean peasant.

Jesus was an itinerant visionary whose real teachings exist only in distorted, fragmented form.

Jesus was insane.

As Shea points out, this list isn't without problems. That why he's calling for "some sort of ecumenical council to sort all this out."

After all, if Jesus never existed, then it's going to be tough for him to have bones and DNA. Dittos if he was eaten by wild dogs. If he was a woman, than marriage to Mary Magdalene and a huge family gets tough. If he was an alien, then the DNA will be very curious to behold.

Yeah, but that's what makes them shocking revelations.

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Greg Laurich

You missed one. LOL The Bible is a hoax... Read all about it!



Very interesting post and point.

Chris Cole

Could it be that Jesus was actually a 3-D holygraphic projection of a higher alien lifeform's SIM game?

Why the heck not???

Then again, I remember good ol' Philosophy 101, wherein students are challenged to prove that they themselves are not the figments of someone else's dreams or thoughts. "I think, therefore, I am!" is often offered, but I myself have had dreams that included both another person and the other person's thoughts as well.

Hmm.... perhaps I wax a bit too cerebral. (And if my head continues to reject folicles at its present rate, I'll finally be able to literally wax my cerebral cavity!)

Oh, the hubris of those who stand for nothing and yet fall for anything. (...having become futile in their thinking...)

Have a blessed day!!!


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