The Forgiver and the Forgiven
|by Catherine Larson|
As we've said, Zoe and I have just returned from two weeks of interviewing some 25 people in Rwanda: survivors, killers, and experts in the field of reconciliation. One of our main observations from the trip is that of the people who have been forgiven versus the people who have forgiven them, the forgiven often seem more plagued with despair than the forgivers. It has caused me to wonder: is shame more devastating than grief or loss? Is shame more difficult to be truly healed from? If so, why?
Does this ring true in your personal experience? Have you found it easier to find peace in the midst of your suffering than to know peace in the midst of your shame? Is it easier to move on after forgiving than to move on after hurting someone else if we truly understand and feel sorry for the nature of the pain we've caused?